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To do, To dream

There are days that I sometimes forget what I’m really and truly about. Too much doing.

In the midst of it all, without conscious thought, I’ll find myself numb by scrolling Facebook and Instagram. I’m not all that different from my two-and-a-half year old asking an “eee-Pad” escape.

My “doing” consists of keeping the kids alive and well, tending to the most important relationship in my life – my marriage, writing the next page of my dissertation, meeting my work commitments, working out, and sleeping.

The social media binging happens when all the busyness wears me out. And I usually don’t feel better after doing it.

Inside I’m still that little boy, dreaming of playing professional street hockey, or that young man, looking down the road to train for his first Ironman or open up his first business.

Life is too short to go through the motions, and yet whatever motions we choose to go through, make up our life. I’m learning that I turn to social media (or some other mindless activity) not to keep in touch with friends but because I’m bored. The cost? A dip in my aliveness bucket.

The doctoral degree finish line is close and has required quite a bit of doing the last three years.

Today I trade the mindless doing for dreaming…dreaming of what’s next and how I might leave a mark with the time I’ve got left – with those I love and with those I don’t even know yet.

I know I’m on the right track when I’m in tune with my spirit and the positive energy I get from either doing or dreaming.

At some point, it will be time to do and do powerfully. But for now, I’m clear it’s time to dream and envision the next verse of my life song.

 

 

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